Procrastination

It is quite safe to say that I am a procrastinator. I will put things off until the last minute and then say something like, “I work better under pressure” to justify it. Right now I am even procrastinating writing this blog.

To give you an example of just how much of a procrastinator I am. When I was in high school, year 12 I think it was. We were taken to a sort of study camp for the first week so that we could learn some study and time management skills for the year ahead. They then proceeded to give us a procrastination test, to see how much of a procrastinator we were. I gave mine to my friend what was sitting next to me to do.  

I can never write more than a sentence without jumping on youtube or facebook, or just taking a walk around the house, and looking in the fridge for the 1000th time today. I think I have played just about every single facebook game there is just to avoid doing actual work. That reminds me. If any of my teachers are reading this... I am going to need an extension on that work.  

Parking Spaces

They are the difference between a good day out, and the perfect day out. If we get one that is quite close or in fact right out front of the place we need to be then that is all we think about. You could be surrounded by the most exquisite food and wine, or the play boy bunnies. But in the back of your mind you will still be thinking about how lucky it was to find a parking spot so close.

Most people would drive around for hours trying to find that perfect parking space. But just what is it? Well allow me to explain. The perfect parking space is a delicate balance between walking distance from the car, and not having to pay to park in that spot. And once you find it, you insert a mental bookmark of where it is for easy access the next time you in that area again.

In my travels I have found a new source of free parking that is as close the shopping centres as disabled parking spots. They are called “Parents with prams spots” Now the beauty is, you don’t need a permit to park in these spots so it’s not illegal; it’s just a bit immoral. But if you can deal with that, then these parking spots are so close that they might as well be drive thru.  

Baby on board

I have never quite understood those baby on board things people put on car windows. What are they actually for? Is it to excuse the horrible driving the people that have these signs do? Because lets me tell you something, if you are driving like you own the road just because you have a baby in the car, then that is not going to stop me from letting you know what I think of you’re driving.

I once saw a car with not only a baby on board sign but also a child on board as well. That got me thinking, is it necessary now to advertise what stage of development you’re passengers are in? And are there more of these sing? Like, teenager on board or mid 20’s on board or even senior citizen on board. 

It has been my experience that, anyone displaying a baby on board should be avoided at all coasts. Because chances are they have a car load of screaming kids, and are quite willing to do anything to end it all, that might just mean taking you out with them. 

No matter what sign you have displayed on your car, I will still shake my fist and yell at you if you pull out in front of me, or cut me off. I will still play my offensive rap music as loud as I like while driving next to you with my roof off and windows down. So get used to it. 

Facebook as a mass storage device

So it is that time of year again where Facebook gets flooded with holiday photos from Europe. Hundreds a day chock your news feed no matter if you want them to or not. Yes we all know you are overseas, but your photos are overtaking my Farmville notifications, how will I know what virtual crops my friends have just planted.

The thing I fine the most intriguing is that most of the pictures are up loaded while the person is still overseas. So I asked a few people, and it turns out that my theory was correct; these people are uploading the pictures to Facebook and then whipping the camera memory clean so to take more photos, but it does not end at this. Some people store all there pictures on Facebook with no other backups. Am I the only one shocked by this? Most people still won’t shop on line because they don’t trust it with your credit card number, but your priceless memories are fine?

If you think storing your images on the internet is safer then storing them on your computer then you are wrong, the internet is just as volatile as a computer’s hard drive if not more so. And that expensive camera you paid $500 to $1000 for, that takes super high quality pictures, well Facebook is going to shrink them down till they look like you took them on your camera phone.

Here is a tip for all you people about to take a trip overseas. Spend a little less money on the camera, so that you can buy some extra memory cards instead of using Facebook to store them. Because remember Facebook is not going to be around forever.

Thank You

It has been a slow day, and with a looming cold I have not really felt that creative today. So I thought I would take this opportunity to go in a slightly different direction today.

I would like to thank everyone that reads my blogs. Thank you to the people that follow it on blogger you people are awesome and your blogs keep me entertained and inspired. Thank you to the people that follow the facebook page as well, getting my weekly statistics and seeing the numbers going up and down, well it’s a rollercoaster ride that I never want to get off.

I am truly humbled that people take the time out to read what I write. I’m always lost for words when anyone tells me they read it, or congratulates me on it. The most I can ever get out is a muffled “Thank you” That is why I am taking this opportunity to give my readers the praise they deserve. Even now I am not doing it justice.

So if you have ever, read, left a comment, clicked and add or even thought about my blog then this message is for you. “No blogger could do anything without the reader, you are the reason we go on doing what we do” Thank you.

If I ruled the world

Why do villains always want to rule the world for? Don’t they understand how much more work and responsibilities they would be taking on? If they though taking over the world was hard, image the surprise when they have to run the world. Thousands of people now have trouble doing it. So when the shit hits the fan I am not sure just one person could cut it.

If for some reason I was given the keys to the world. (Mind you, I would have to be given them because I am far too lazy to take then by force) I would be a fair and just ruler. That is until boredom sets in, then I would pass a law that everyone must wear a chicken costume once a week, and join up into one massive conga line.

As for the rest of the world’s operations. I will hire people to take care of the day to day stuff for me, and have one person in charge of a country, and many other people helping that one person out as well. Wait a dam second that sounds a lot like how the world in run right now. Does that mean I actually am ruler or the world? Well in that case. Chicken Suites everybody!!!  

GPS

I was on my way to my cousins 21^st on the weekend, now I kind of knew where the place was he was having it at, but just to be on the safe side I thought I would try out the GPS system on my new Nokia phone. I got to where I needed to be, but not before my detour to the moon first.

I love my GPS I would be lost without it, literally. Once I went to my mail box and got lost... I was checking my email. You start to wonder how you ever did without it. Long gone are the days of pulling out the road maps and plotting the course. Whenever I see someone still using this primitive method I think to myself. Wow you on the hunt for buried treasure or something?

I more often than not like to yell at my GPS for taking what feels like a longer way around. But just as I am about to roll down my window and chuck it off the freeway I realise that, it kind of knows where it is going, I don’t. So I should probably cut it some slack, because without it who knows where I might end up. Lost in the desert like Bugs Bunny, thinking I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

Public Transport

You would think that this blog would be easy to write. Considering everyone thinks the public transport system is a joke anyway. But that is simply not true. There are still heaps of jokes to be made about public transport, and I will start with two. Connex and Metro Trains. See pure comedy.

I have been catching the train every day for more years then I can remember now, and to tell you the truth. The trains have never really let me down. Sure there have been a few times that a train has been delayed because someone has stepped out in front of it. But once they scrapped the poor bugger off the tracks and hosed it down the train was right back on track. So I do not share the same anger and frustration others seem to about it.

People are so quick to complain as well the moment something goes wrong. Okay it might go wrong sometimes, but for the rest of the times, does it not offer you a cheap and quick way of getting around? And it’s not like you have to drive the thing for yourself, just sit back and enjoy the ride already.

I did not mean for this blog to sound like a shameless endorsement for Metro Trains. I just felt like someone needs to stick up for them. After all I have had no problems with them over the years, and if they feel like rewarding my loyalty and support. I could use a yearly zone 1+2 ticket. 

The Circus

The circus has come to town, and has set up tent not far from where I live. So I have decided to move out until they go away, and I am now currently looking for a new place to live for a while. It is not because I might be able to hear the noises or the smells of the animals; I just really don’t want to be that close to clowns.

Every kid had dreams of running away to join the circus. I wonder if this is standard recruiting policy, waiting for kids to run away from home till they can get a new performer. I would love to see the recruitment ads for the circus. I would image they look something like this. “We want you…To run away from home and join the circus; you get to sleep with a lion.”

Apart from the creepy clowns I don’t mind the circus. What I don’t like however are these new fancy circuses. You know the ones with no animals in them. Who wants to see that? After all the only reason people go to the circus in the first place is for the animal cruelty. If I wanted to see a woman in tight clothing spin around on a poll I would just go to a strip club and not tip very well.

Dreams

Dreams are a funny thing, in that they are only interesting and funny to the person having them. If some say “Hey want to hear about a dream I had the other night” that is an indication that you are about to experience the most boring and incoherent 10 minutes of your life. 

Acquiring to the wealth of all knowledge, I.E Wikipedia, a dream is the following. “A dream is a succession of images, sounds or emotions with no aperient order, which the mind experiences during sleep.” So in other words, a dream is your subconscious mind relieving itself. No wonder you feel like crap when you wake up.   

Then you have the best dreams of them all, sex dreams. But when it involves someone you know, someone you are close to, it can get rather awkward. Do you tell them that you had one, or do you just keep silent? And think to yourself every time you see them “Yeah, me and you, we totally did it”

You can also learn how to remember your dreams more effectively and have a better recollection of them. It is cheaper than a movie and, you are killing two birds with one stone, figuratively of course, unless that is part of the dream you are having